wedding planning is for the birds.
i understand the concept of this very important day in one’s life, and making it all about the memories and the hoards of people you’ve invited but i find myself constantly returning to my mental image of pure, simple ritual.
of course, it’s impossible to make everyone happy - throughout life, not just in the case of weddings - but the slight risk of offending someone has me wishing we’d just flit down to the courthouse and be done with it. we already FEEL married, why add the stress and frustration of housing out-of-town guests and family members and turning the house inside out just to cater to feelings?
with the rare exception of a few, the weddings i have attended have made me squirm in my seat and wonder when it’s socially acceptable to leave rather than beam with excitement and joy. my mind wanders to the decorations, the coordination, the music, the food at the reception, the bridal party outfits, the dress every girl is supposed to dream about her whole unmarried life. i am unable to concentrate on the vows being exchanged because my god-damn monkey-mind is adding up the time and money spent on making today be “just so.”
and why? WHY has this ceremony that society has dictated as normal and necessary grown so out of hand that brides turn into virtual monsters leading up to and day-of; families - willingly! - cough up thousands of dollars to impress attendees and ensure the day is pulled off as perfectly and expensively as possible? the fact that there are companies built on profiting from the stress and chaos that arise with planning a 300 - person wedding makes the actual ritual ring hollow and unsubstantial. it’s a beautiful cake, perfectly delicious with it’s delicate golden crust and a light dusting of powdered sugar, then someone came along and encased it in sticky mats of fondant and billowing icing roses and sprinkles and some figurines.
it’s a free world. people should be allowed a $30,000 wedding if they choose. the fact that it is considered strange or insensitive to limit the guest list, refrain from frantic over-planning, or deviate from the “traditional” ceremony is bullshit.
just my two cents, as i sit here “planning.” so far we’ve jotted down a loose order of (brief) ceremony and a tentative (brief) guest list.